some thoughts on life:

(open for discussion!!!!!)

1. when faced with two options, you usually tend to prefer one.

today i was trying on shoes and the lady said, "i know this will feel funny, but put on one side from each pair and see which one is more comfortable". after that, i realised that the pair i liked initially really wasn't as comfortable as the other pair. and although my friends said, "but your right foot is different from your left foot," that really wasn't the point i was trying to make :P

im trying to extend this thought. because i think that when we have tried out two different activities, it's really hard for us to say we like everything the same. similarly, when we are out with two different people, it's really hard for us to be friendly to both and get along with both at the same time? do you know what i mean? i always thought that the best kind of friendships were those which came in threes - because if you're not on good terms with person A, there's a likelihood that person B will be on good terms with person A, and if you're on good terms with person B, then you'll be on good terms with person A eventually - sort of like a tripod.

but a friend some time ago told me that it's impossible for you to be just as close to both of them, i.e. you will always be closer to one of them. i apologise if im rambling, but if u'll just listen to my catharsis, i hope u'll find something of value. so i will continue.

i honestly don't think it's impossible to be best buds with a group of friends! but i think during different seasons of our lives, and at different times, we are usually closer to some people relative to others. and even though Person A, Person B, and myself, may see ourselves as three strong best buds, i think it's acceptable maybe, or even inevitable, that sometimes I may know more about Person A than Person B and etc etc.

The point i am trying to make is that it is very hard for us to NOT draw comparisons and to also claim we like something/someone equally. and now i will make a huge jump to what is currently on my mind...are u ready?




i really can't say i love God and someone else or something else the same. this is sooo different from me saying i like chocolate ice cream and strawberry ice cream equally.... it's different from me saying i'm closer to Person A than Person B in Winter, and closer to Person B than Person D (where'd he/she come from??) in Summer.

with God, i love Him so much that He's got to be way beyond higher above anything and anyone in terms of how fond I am of Him and how much I desire to be with Him. i've been reading James, and i keep wondering why He calls Himself a jealous God, and why anyone who is a friend of the world becomes His enemy! but i think i'm beginning to understand a BIT MORE...

cos naturally... we tend to prefer things and people. now the Bible (see James again for an example) is very clear on how God does not play favourites and how we are not meant to show favoritism. now i've struggled/pondered about this for ages: does it mean i can't have a best friend?? do i have to be equally friendly to everybody/equally close to all??? what if i bake a cake for Person A today, do i have to cook spaghetti for Person B tomorrow?

now now.. i cant remember how i've reconciled it before..but right now, i think it's more like... well, i think it's like, "yes, i do get along with Person B much more easily, but it doesn't mean i'm not going to be nice to Persons C D E F G....." so yes, i do try to be equally friendly to all..and as for the latter questions..well, maybe that's why i don't cook :P (in other words - im still thinking about it.. i dun really know what it means to show favouritism...hehs...any thoughts? maybe it's like, we can't control our feelings, but we can control our actions; and to the extent we realise we could be favouring someone over others perhaps in some kind of unfair/discriminatory way, the moment we are conscious, we should think twice before we proceed? )

you see, im realising that we quite naturally have preferences, but the choices we make do not always have to be what we "want to do" or "what we like". i am very big on the "im doing this because this is what i think i SHOULD do", and usually by the grace of God, it becomes what i both want to do, and what I like to do. with preferences, yes, we probably naturally like someone/some things more than others, but we should try to MASTER OUR DESIRES, instead of letting our desires be our master. God will help us... He will teach us what is good.... and i pray that He will be my utmost desire cos now i see how easily it is for me to be drawn towards other things and lose my focus on Him.

and i actually think this is why we should have just one husband or one wife. :P if u have two husbands, u may be constantly comparing the two of them and this tension can be avoided if u are just wholeheartedly devoted to one :) i've made the decision to love and follow Jesus - He is my ONE GOD whom i wanna love in this ONE LIFE with all of my ONE HEART, ONE SOUL, ONE MIND, and all da strength He provides!

2.
3.

i will continue another time... just to remind myself: it's with regards thanking others and... sigh...i actually can't remember the other.

it seems so easy for me to fall....... so help me God, please?